I was thisclose to saying “screw the tree, I’ll go to my sisters if I want to see decorations.” If it hadn’t been for the fact that two little somebodies are completely fascinated with all things that light up and twinkle, I would have totally gone the scrooge route this year, and I’m not kidding. It started when we pulled our pre-lit tree out of the attic and put it up, only to find that most of the bulbs didnt work. Then I remembered that we had a big problem with that last year. Except this year it’s worse.
We tried to fix it. No luck. So we bought one of those Light Keeper Pro thingies that’s supposed to fix lights. No luck. We bought a pack of replacement bulbs and tried to find the one that was out. The answer? All of them. So I finally pulled out a pair of scissors and cut all of the lights off of my pre-lit tree. It took forever and my hands and arms look like they’ve been in a fight with a rabid bobcat.
So I went and bought some new lights to put on it. I brought them home, plugged them in, and they were a totally different color white than the other lights in the garland on the mantle. They didn’t match and looked super ghetto. (I am somehow destined to be ghetto/redneck as long as I live in this neighborhood.) SO I took those lights back and tried to buy some REGULAR white lights, but every store in the United States was sold out. I checked them all. So I had to buy miniature ones, which come on strands that are about 3 feet long. And don’t connect.
So now I’m pretty sure its a big fat fire hazard with the way I have it rigged, but the lights are finally on the dadgum tree. By the end, I was slapping those lights on like you wouldn’t believe, just to have the thing finished….which means that its a little uneven and there are a few dark spots. BUT I DON’T CARE. It’s up and decorated. I am done – ghetto or not.
And I hope my family doesn’t mind, because now that it’s up, it’s staying up for a year.