Like I said, now we’re moving to Colombia.  But at first, I didn’t know that.  All I knew was that there was talk about having to make some significant changes to our 2-year training period.

I’m a mama, and my first thought was, “what if they change it by moving us to another country? what about my child? what about my adoption?”  I got a little panicky.

You know the funny thing about panicking?  It’s pointless. I serve the creator of the universe who holds the entire world — me included — in the palm of his hand, who knows every thought and desire of my heart, who had his plan for me and my life (and that of all of my children) laid out before the foundations of the world.   Yet the moment I get wind of something that I’m unsure about, my heart starts doubting his power, doubting his sovereignty, doubting his control.  My mind says, “but Lord, look what happened!” and I act like he’s scrambling as much as I am.

But he’s not.  There is no scrambling with God.  No panicking.  No anxiety or stress.  His plan is sure, and his plan for me is sure.  There is no reason to panic when your Father is the God of the universe.

And of course, Nate, the ever-calm, level-headed one, says, “let’s just wait and see.  We don’t know any details yet.  Let’s just wait and see what the changes will be, and we’ll figure it out from there.”   Easier said than done.

But before I let it go for the night, I told him, “But our adoption agency only works in two countries in Latin America…Costa Rica and Colombia.  It’s not like we can just move this adoption wherever we want.  If they move us, we can’t adopt.  We’ll have to put it on hold.   It’s Costa Rica or nothing.  Or Colombia, but it’s not like there’s any plan to move us there, so that would never happen.  So basically Colombia or nothing, and that’s impossible.  Lord, please don’t make me stop this adoption.”

And I laid in bed half the night worrying, praying that the Lord would let me continue pursuing the unknown child that has already been so long in my heart.

The very next morning, Nate and Josh had a conference call scheduled with our missions agency to talk about the changes in our training program.  It was a long call, and I wasn’t in the room so I didn’t hear the conversation. But a few hours later, Nate emerged from the room with a grin on his face.

“You won’t believe this. They feel the best place for us to train might be Colombia.”

I could have burst into tears right then.  I had just told Nate the night before that it was Costa Rica or nothing.  That the only other option was Colombia, which I thought was far-fetched and impossible.  I thought it was falling apart, but little did I know that the Lord had already provided a team and location equipped to sustain our training ministry in the exact same city that our adoption agency works.  The only other city in Latin America that could have worked.

But it gets better.

I called the adoption agency that day and said, “it looks like we might be moving our mission work from Costa Rica to Colombia…so this is going to change our adoption plans.”

Our rep said, “Are you kidding me?  Nikki, I’m not going to lie to you.  I have honestly been thinking for the past few weeks that Colombian adoption might be a better fit for your family, but I didn’t bring it up because I knew it was logistically impossible for you because you have to live there for 2 months to make it work…and I knew you’d be in Costa Rica.   I can’t believe this is happening right now!”

We talked about the specifics, and it indeed sounds like it’s a better fit.  So we’re moving our adoption from Costa Rica to Colombia.  Plus, with where we are in the process, now is the perfect time to change countries.  If we had waited any longer, it would have been much more difficult to change it.

That night, I laid in the bed and prayed, but with very different thoughts in my heart than the night before.  I confessed that I had doubted the Lord’s plans, his ability to handle such a complicated situation, and how much he cared for the specifics of my  life and my (future) child’s life.  I thanked him for solving my so-called problems long before I ever even knew they existed, and for reminding me of his love in a way that was so tangible that I couldn’t deny it. I praised him for demonstrating his power and control in the midst of my weakness.

So our adoption plan has also changed, but only in location.  We’ve always said we would adopt from wherever we lived at the time, so that’s still what we’re doing.  Our rep at the adoption agency has told me again and again that she can’t believe the way this has worked out, and I can’t help but agree.

But then, I shouldn’t be surprised….because I serve a God who doesn’t panic, even when I do. It’s a good thing he’s in control.

We’re moving to Colombia!  You know, the South American one?

“Wait, what? What about Costa Rica?”  I know that’s what you’re thinking.

Now that you’re completely confused, let me go back and explain a little.

Nate and I (and another family) are heading to the mission field in a few months.  The plan from day one has been to help our missions agency (MTW) to develop a training program for missionaries who want to start new ministries in unreached areas.  We will participate in this training program for 2 years, then head out to start a new work in another Latin American country.

Well the plan so far has been to do this training program in Costa Rica, but the team working there is brand new, and it would be hard for us to try to put this training program on top of all of their hard work of establishing a new ministry.  So MTW started looking at other teams who are a little more established and might be better prepared to sustain a big training program.

And Colombia is it.  Bogota, Colombia to be exact.

The team there is big, plus its been there for about 16 years.  (…minus a few years in the early 2000s when they had to leave for safety reasons.  But then they went back, and it’s much safer there now, I promise!)  And there are several new church plants there in various stages of development, so they’ll be able to train us in church planting at each of those stages.  And on top of all that, it turns out that the church in Colombia is receiving regular requests from other countries to please send missionaries, church planters, and pastors so they can start establishing similar ministries in other areas of Latin America.  Bogota, Colombia, is becoming a regular hub of gospel outreach all over Latin America!  As a result, we’ll have a much better opportunity to network and discern where the Lord might be calling us long-term after our 2 years of training.

(by the way, if you want to know more about this, please click on over to our missions blog. Nate and Josh have posted a video and letter about the switch.)

Pretty dadgum exciting.  Of course, I had to go tell my parents that I’m moving their grandchildren to COLOMBIA, which wasn’t fun.  But the good thing is that Colombia has really turned around over the past 10 years or so, and its now a really beautiful, safe place to live and visit.  The last two Colombian presidents have worked their tails off to turn things around down there.  (Unfortunately, it takes longer for the reputation to get turned around!)

So everything else is still on track – nothing has changed about our vision, our overall plan, or our timeline.  Still leaving in August, still training for two years, still starting a new work in  Latin America when we’re done training. The only thing that’s changed is the city on the plane ticket.

This has all been worked out in the past 2-3 weeks, so we’ve basically been running around like madmen trying to sort out the details.  But despite the insanity of having to reprint every single piece of literature we have and re-record all of our videos to say Colombia instead of Costa Rica, we have had an amazing sense of peace about this whole thing.  We’ve prayed about it, talked about it, researched it, talked with our bosses, talked with both the Costa Rican and Colombian teams, and everyone involved feels the same way:  this just seems to be the right fit.

This sure has been an exciting journey, and we haven’t even gone anywhere yet! But I’ll tell you this:  It sure is amazing to see how God works out all my questions far in advance.  He’s got the details handled, so I’m just going to go with it.

And now for the next question you might be asking…”what about your Costa Rican adoption?”    That’s an exciting story too.  And I’ll answer that one tomorrow (:

So you know how I was going to relax on a cruise ship last week?  It didn’t happen.  The relaxing part, I mean.  It turns out that cruising with two 19-month-old little boys is not relaxing at all.  It’s fun, for sure, but requires much more energy than I imagined.

But the boys absolutely LOVED it.  They are now obsessed with boats.  Barrett would get very emotional every time he saw one.  I’m talking about some serious passion here, people.  Standing on our balcony watching the boats go by was one of their favorite things to do.

They also love waving and blowing kisses at strangers, so being on a boat with 8,000 people provided quite a few opportunities for that.  They were definitely a hit and had lots of fans by the end of the week….but mostly because cruise ships have nonstop music, which means the boys put on spontaneous dance performances throughout the day.  A set of dancing 1-yr-old twins draws a crowd.

And the ship was awesome- it’s currently the largest ship in the world, and it certainly felt like it!  It was HUGE. There are sections of the boat that we never even saw, just because we didn’t have time.  It was a great ship.  Good thing we went with Royal Caribbean’s Oasis of the Seas instead of, say, Costa Concordia.    (Sidenote: Being on a cruise ship when one of the biggest news stories at the time is of a cruise ship that sunk is….interesting, to say the least.)

Of course I took my camera with me everywhere and took lots of pictures.  Here are a few of my favorites:

(If you want to see the full album, click here.)

It was a fun week. But now that we’re home, the munchkins are wondering why I don’t have dance music playing during dinner and why there isn’t a buffet of food around every corner.  When you have a week of days spent eating, dancing, swimming, and napping, it’s hard to go back to playing with cars on the living room floor with mom.

And now, yet another “last” has been checked off the list, and it feels like I’m one step closer to The Big Move.  Bittersweet.  I guess the next family vacation will be when I can convince the whole family to all come visit us in Latin America at the same time!

(ps – we’ve got some big, exciting news coming later this week… be sure to check back!)

But it will all be worth it when we board a cruise ship on Saturday with my parents, grandparents, sisters, and brother-in-law, niece, and nephew.  The last family vacation before the move… another one of those pesky “Lasts.”  We’re heading to the Caribbean for sunshine, relaxation, and good food. Plus lots of playing in the awesome baby splash park on our ship.  It will be a good week.  Any tips on cruising with toddlers?

So this week I’m getting ready for that trip, among a few other things that are taking up lots of my time, like lots phone calls with our missions agency, our adoption agency, and doing some work around the house to get it ready to sell.  Such is life at this point in the process.   Things get busy.  But next week, I’ll relax (:

So in lieu of a long post, here are a few pictures instead…

^Baby Griffin.  What a cutie.  I am in love with him.

^We were playing at Nanny’s (my moms) and the boys suddenly got very quiet.  This is where we found them!

^The boys threw Clark a little birthday party to celebrate turning 2.  This is my favorite shot from that day – the birthday boy and his mama. As you can see,  my best friend is beautiful.

^All the little boys eating their lunch.  Not long after this was taken, Barrett moved to the other table by himself to eat in peace.  I can’t say I blame him.

^These two are in cahoots.

^Noah sporting his new homemade cars pajamas. He wore them last night for the first time.  I originally made them for my nephew, but they were too little, so they became Noahs.  They hadn’t fallen apart by the time he woke up this morning, so I’m assuming I made them correctly.  You never know, because I have no idea what I’m doing.

That’s it for today.  Too much to do.  Back to my checklist and my new favorite Pandora station (Sovereign Grace Music Radio – that’s some good stuff). 

That’s not something I hear from my husband very often.  For most of the 10 years we’ve been together, I hardly ever saw him pick up a book.  Then came seminary, and I hardly ever saw him put down a book…although he swore that as soon as he graduated, he’d never read again.

Well he graduated in May, and he still picks up a book every night before bed.

Folks, I’m married to a reader.  I didn’t originally marry a reader, but I’m married to one now.  Funny how people change.

But we read different stuff.  Very different.  And most of the time, our choices don’t overlap.   So when he looks at me and says, for the third time in a week, “You need to read this book,”  I know I’m going to read it.

Add to the fact that it’s a book on marriage given to me by my husband, who is telling me how good it is, and I think any woman on the planet would have the same reaction.  Put down what I’m reading, and pick up that book instead.

So I read it. And (electronically) highlighted all through it. And I gave it to my sister for Christmas.  And I’m about to read it again.

And then Nate and I are going to sit down and talk all through it (although he doesn’t know that yet) because it’s such a gospel-soaked look at marriage that I want to wrap my brain around as much of it as possible.

I would do a review, but there’s no point because Tim Challies wrote one that’s much better and more exhaustive than I could ever write, so I’ll just direct you there.  But suffice it to say that if you are married, you should read this book.  If you’re engaged, you should read this book.  If you are single, you should read this book.  I could go on, but I won’t.  Just check out Challies’ review, then read this book.

[The Meaning of Marriage by Tim and Kathy Keller.]

Well, it used to be “in no time.”  Now it takes a little longer.

The fight over the screwdriver got a little heated, so I put down the camera and said, “who want’s a bath?”   They dropped the screwdriver before I even finished the sentence and ran to the tub, yelling, “bath? bath? bath?”   …and Nate had the kitchen to himself.

So now I have squeaky clean boys and a fixed dishwasher.  Problem solved.

I’ve got this whole list of “The Lasts” in my head, and I don’t know how it got there, but I know it started with our anniversary.  We will most likely move right before our 8th anniversary in mid-August.  Which means that our 7th anniversary this past August was “The Last One,” and for some reason I was acutely aware of it.  It was like a countdown ticker started in my head. One Year Left.

Then came Halloween.  We watched all the neighbor kids dress up and ride the hayride down our street, and I thought to myself, “this is The Last One.”

Then our annual Thanksgiving with my in-laws in Chattanooga…which was even more of a “Last” because one of Nate’s brothers moved to Phoenix the next week, and Thanksgiving was the last time we would all be together for years to come.

Then a bunch of Christmas celebrations….  our church’s Christmas program, various family get-togethers, setting up our Christmas tree, Christmas Eve at my sister’s and Christmas morning at my mom’s, Christmas evening with my whole extended family at my grandmother’s.  Our annual end-of-the-year trip to Pennsylvania.

Yesterday we got back from Pennsylvania.  Tonight we’ll take down our Christmas decorations, and I’ll put my tree in a trash bag and put it on the curb. (Although I’d probably get rid of it this year either way, because its an old piece of junk and needs to be tossed.)  I’ll box up the ornaments and give them to my little sister to start her own collection.

Now we’re 8-ish months out, and the list continues.  I’m trying to soak up every drop of “The Lasts,” because I know I’ll miss them when they’re gone.  And they’re going by quickly.

I don’t know why things feel so final in my head. Because ultimately, it’s not “The Last” of anything.  It’s just the last one in America for now.  We’ll be back at some point, at least for a little while, and I’ll do all these things in the “traditional” way again.  And in the meantime, we’ll still celebrate Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years and birthdays and anniversaries in Latin America.  I’ll decorate for Christmas, though it might look a little different.  I’ll spend the holidays surrounded by people I love, though it will be a different group.  The core of it will be the same, the meaning and heart behind it all, but the wrapping will change.

To keep from getting emotional over the prospect of giving up the familiarness of my life, I’ve been reminding myself that I’m going to have a new normal.  That even though it feels like my whole world is about to get tossed around in a clothes-dryer, it will eventually settle.  I’ll get used to things.  The boys will get used to things.  This new lifestyle coming around the bend will become familiar.  My new traditions will be just as fitting and special as the old ones. Sometimes different is good.  And worth it.

Plus, I’ll have a whole list of “The Firsts” to blog about.

Anyway. Here are a few pictures from the past few days…

Rainy/cold/fussy days always result in forts being built all over the house.  Their newest fort creation is a pack-n-play on its side with a blanket.  Genius.  They loved it.  They are in there, but its too dark to see them.

As you can see from this next batch, Barrett has figured out what it means when I tell him, “say cheese!”  I have very few pictures of me with the boys, so I took a few the other night…although I probably should have waited until the next day when I wasn’t in glasses, crazy hair, and pajamas.  Oh well.  But at least now I have a few updated pictures of these silly boys with their mama.

And this is what every morning in our house looks like…little helpers who want to be involved in every aspect of getting ready.

I love having helpers. I bet I could fit a few more babies on that countertop.

(I’m liking black and white photos these days, in case you didn’t notice.)

This afternoon we’re heading over to see Baby Griffin, so I’ll be sure to take about 400 pictures of him for you, and I’ll hook you up with another photo-heavy post.  You’re welcome.

So of course I called for backup.  My mom and I pulled out some fun decorations, bribed the boys with jingle bells and candy canes, and had a mini photo shoot.  Although it ended abruptly when Noah picked up a glass Christmas ornament, bit into it, and had the entire thing shatter INSIDE HIS MOUTH.

(Sidenote: This is why I now have shatter-proof ornaments. Because who knew that babies could BITE them?)

After I stripped him down, scooped the tiny ornament pieces out of his mouth, cleaned up the blood, wiped the tears, and gave him a popsicle to make it all better, I sat down and clicked through the pictures to see if we had any good ones.  Here are a few that we didn’t use, but still make me smile:

Once we put them into the rocking chairs, we got lots of serious faces. That is, until my mom started saying, “I’m gunna get your toes!” … at which point, unstoppable squealing and giggling fits ensued.  So we ended up with alot of pictures that look like this:

Silly, laughing boys.  But in the end, this shot was the winner:

You’ll notice they are holding up their toes so that Nanny can get them.  And the bright red ornament in between their rocking chairs is the one that Noah scooped up and mistook for an apple.

So that’s the one that went out, along with a short Christmas letter giving some updates about what 2011 had in store for us.

In case you are interested in seeing it, here ya go.    Merry Christmas from the Bonhams (:

Text from Christmas Letter:

Dear Family and Friends,

We aren’t normally ones to write a Christmas letter, but this year has certainly proven to be quite eventful for the Bonham household! We’ve had a lot going on that has been exciting, scary, and joyful— but we wouldn’t trade it for the world.

 As many of you know, this year our family accepted a call to the mission field. Missions is something that has been on our hearts for years, but the Lord has finally opened the doors for us to go. We will be serving and training in Costa Rica for two years, then going to start churches in a to-be-determined country in Latin America. We are currently in the process of raising monthly support to be able to go. We hope to leave in August of 2012.

 Noah and Barrett continue to light up our lives. In June, they celebrated their 1st birthday (already!). They are running around and being typical 18-month-olds—getting into everything, eating everything, and saying everything (or nothing, not sure which). They keep us on our feet but are so much fun. We just can’t believe how big they are already!

 Nikki has had the blessing of being able to stay at home with the boys. They make her earn her paycheck all day long! And since this is our last stretch of time living here, she’s trying to make the most of it by spending lots of time with friends and family while trying to prepare for moving our household to Costa Rica in a few months.

 It’s been quite an eventful year for Nate. In May, he graduated from Reformed Theological Seminary after 4 years of studying. In November, he was ordained as a missionary pastor into the Presbyterian Church in America (PCA). He continues to be on staff at Madison Heights Church as a pastoral assistant and youth director for the next several months.

Finally, the twins will be big brothers… little brothers… who knows? We are thrilled that the Lord has called us to adopt! Over the summer, we began the long process of adoption from Costa Rica. It will take 2-3 years, which would mean we will finalize the process during our time living in Costa Rica, Lord-willing. At this point, we still don’t know if it will be 1 child or 2 siblings, and if they will be older or younger than our boys, or both—whatever the Lord provides. Either way, we are excited about growing our family and can’t wait to meet the newest Bonham(s)!

All the events of 2011 certainly carry aspects of excitement, scariness, and joy, but we are thankful for God’s grace and supportive family and friends. We are thankful for all of you and hope you are blessed during this CHRISTmas season!

Love, Nate, Nikki, Noah, & Barrett

One day I was sitting in a squatter village, sharing the truth of Jesus with about 30 women and their children (through a Tagalog translator), feeding hungry children on the railroad tracks, and pulling orphans into my lap for hugs.  The next day I boarded a plane, flew for 24 hours, and stepped back into the American hustle-and-bustle of Christmas.

I didn’t have the time to decompress, debrief, or process anything.  I just catapulted myself from one world to the other, with no transition in between other than a jet-lagged plane ride.

That was the hardest Christmas I’ve ever had.  It was too fresh.  I woke up Christmas morning and ate a big breakfast, wondering if those kids would eat at all that day.  I opened gifts with my family, wondering if those kids even knew it was Christmas day.  I was distracted, a little depressed, and frustrated with myself for not balancing my emotions well enough to enjoy the holiday and still reflect on the trip, all at the same time.

My little sister gave me an envelope, and inside was a receipt for a donation made in my name to feed starving orphans.  I burst into tears.

It’s been 3 years since I stepped off that plane, and it still seems fresh.

Maybe it’s because it was our first “vision trip.”  The first field that we felt a specific and direct attachment to and a longing to join.  The first taste of missions from the perspective of a potential team-member rather than a short-term visitor.

But I think it’s because in each of those moments– sharing Jesus with lonely women, sharing food with hungry kids, sharing hugs with orphaned children –I had the distinct feeling that I was there. Present. Right where I needed to be. That God was saying YES…this is what I have called you to.

And maybe not the Philippines, specifically (as we now know).  But ministry.  Tangible, hands-on, gospel-soaked ministry that does those very things– shares Jesus, meets physical needs, and loves deeply.

In the three years since that trip, we’ve visited a few more locations, accepted a call to the field, and started raising money to be able to go to Latin America.  We’ll learn the language, train under some amazing veteran missionaries, and begin planting Bible-preaching churches alongside local leaders in areas where there aren’t any.  And we’ll do it by sharing Jesus, meeting physical needs, and loving people.

The Philippines has been on my mind alot this past week.  My time there, the people there, the way God used that experience (and the disappointment I felt when we didn’t ultimately end up there) to prune my heart.

Three whole years, and it’s still fresh.